This picture I posted on Facebook not to long ago on a bit of a whim received a rather heated response from someone I got along with well in high school but whom I haven't spoken to probably since.  The response was a little indignant and asked the question (paraphrased) "if i accept money from social programs does that mean i'm not an adult?"

When I thought about the question the first answer I came up with was "well yeah kinda" but there was something more there, not completely.  If you become dependent on someone else then you are taking on the role of a child.  If you are depending on the gov't, charity, family etc, to provide for you money, shelter, transportation etc.  then you are acting like a child and they are acting like an adult/parent.  So does that mean that anytime you take charity/welfare that you are acting like a child, yes actually you are acting like a child when you accept unearned things.  That is why unsolicited charity is considered rather insulting to many people, especially men.  You are implying that they can't hack it on their own, they are kids and need your help.  That is insulting.

But is that really what this post is talking about?  I don't think so.  Every so often you have to humble yourself and ask for help, and you should be so lucky to have people in your life that would be willing to offer you help solicited or otherwise.  But for adults this forced dependence is temporary.  It only lasts until you can get back on your feet and support yourself.  I only take unemployment until i can find another job, i only sleep on your couch until i can find my own place.  This post isn't talking about temporary hardships and accepting help even though accepting charity does cast you into a child-ish type of role.

No i believe this post is speaking to a mindset.

I believe the intent of this message is to really call attention to the fact that it really is an adult mindset to make ones own way, to take responsibility for oneself, including mistakes even if you don't want to.  "I don't want to" and "I shouldn't have to" are things that people who don't want to take responsibility say.  things that kids say.  not adults.

In my experience there are sadly many people of adult age who still cling to a childish mindset.  They actually say things like "I shouldn't have to pay for my college degree since i'm not using it now."  Um no, Grow up, pay your debts.

Thinking that the gov't (or anyone else for that matter) should pay your way for pretty much any reason is a child's mindset.  Again this is different from accepting money from someone who offers or asking for help when you need it.  this is talking about an ongoing attitude or expectation that you shouldn't have to pay your own way.  the reason why you think you shouldn't really doesn't matter.  Adults pay their own way (and the way of their dependents).  Kids want someone else to pay for them.

For those that are interested here is what i posted in response to the person who got angry.  It goes a little deeper into what i discuss above.


I can see why you might be upset if you believe i'm calling you a child that wasn't my intention. Furthermore I'm pretty sure you actually agree with what the picture says, it seems that you might actually have a problem with what you think it is implying (that social programs shouldn't exist). That isn't what i thought it was implying when i posted it. 

Rather, i think it speaks to a mindset that has become rather prevalent, this "i shouldn't have to..." mindset. Or more specifically " I shouldn't have to pay for..." in this example. That is the mindset of a child. A child is a dependent. A child shouldn't have to pay his own mortgage, a child shouldn't have to buy his own food, etc. That is the job of their parents, the adults. An adult doesn't say, "I shouldn't have to.." an adult says "Tell me what do i have to do" 

An adult realizes that if they want something they are going to have to spend some time and energy to get it whether they want to or not. If their dependents need something the adult must get it because their kids shouldn't have to. They want to allow their kids to be kids and they want to shoulder the responsibility of being parents and adults. They don't want to live under anyone else's rules which is whey they got an education and a job and moved out of their parents houses to make their own life. They BECAME adults.

The problem I feel this post is pointing out is some people that don't ever seem to graduate to adulthood. They don't want to take responsibility so they argue they shouldn't have to.. because [whatever reason they think will work]. I went to a private college and got an underwater basket weaving degree and now i work in a restaurant and i shouldn't have to pay my college loans because they are expensive and i'm not using the degree. An adult realizes this is an absurd statement. If you agreed to pay a price for a thing and they provided you the thing and you used the thing, not using it any more is not grounds for a refund. I took out a loan to buy a pair of shoes i wore them for a month but now i don't want them any more so i shouldn't have to pay the loan back. That is childish thinking. 

An adult is someone who knows that it is their responsibility to support themselves and their dependents. In each of the examples you gave, adults took advantage of available programs or resources to do what they had to in order to provide for their dependents. Your dad took unemployment because he knew he needed to provide for you and his family. My guess is that he didn't stay on it for very long though. You took money for your kids medical bills because it was offered or available but you didn't expect anyone else to pay them for you. We went to public school because it was available and my parents wanted me to have an edumacation. Again all of the examples you gave were adults doing what they needed to do. I don't see any disagreement with the picture.

Social programs or no social programs an adult does what they have to do because they are adults. A child "doesn't want to" and "shouldn't have to"